pt2

I hear the school bus pull up outside and the voices of the little kiddies getting off and running home. I know it is 4:20 now cause that’s when the bus always arrives. I usually lie around during the day like this, taking my time, enjoying my freedom.
Man I got some gross shit percolatin down there! If I don’t have cancer of the colon by now, it’ll happen soon with all the bad crap I eat. All the greasy, fake, plastic, formulated, scientifically made-up stuff? It’s made to kill you, that’s why Americans are dying so young of Cancer and Heart Disease, cause they put in all the food. I think that’s what makes it taste so good! I love thinking of what im gonna eat that day. Lets see, I went by the donut place for breakfast, McDonalds for lunch, Sizzler for dinner, and of course dessert and snacks from the fridge throughout the night… think I’ll stay with the donut place today, im a regular there.
Oh, man, that movement is starting to build up real good now, I still have time for a little nap before its ready to go. Mm, what a comfterble feeling, under the covers, knowing you’re gonna shit- feels like Home.

That wet, warm smell wakes him up to a cloud of his own farts. He knows its time by the feel of the turd about to poke its turtle head out in his underwear- gotta get this thing out before has to clean up one of those messes again. He moves quicker now, out of bed and into the hall surprisingly nimble, like that long-ago sea lion. He leaves the light off and the door open in the bathroom, pulls the big underwear down and places his white ass on the cold toilet seat which causes him to giggle like a little girl.
Then things get nasty. He grunts and coughs and tries to force it out but it wont come. He moves his ass around on the toilet, bends over, sits up strait, trying to find the right position to get rid of it- the thing tantalizingly hangs there but just wont drop- its held in place somehow, by a thin chord of intestine lining or something. Starting to sweat again, red-faced, and crying out to himself in a way that the neighbors might even hear, he finally does the unthinkable: lifts his ass off the seat, reaches under there with the left hand, searching, finds the log, traces with fingers up the length of it where it’s coming out of him, and pinches it off.
Plop! The satisfying sound of the shit hitting the water and settling down in the bowl. He breathes a sigh of relief and massages his chest with the good hand, feeling like he almost gave himself a heart attack. He gives himself a minute to recover, let the chest stop heaving and return to normal. The rest of the poop wont come off, but that’s ok; he sits up from the toilet and reaches into the shower to turn on the water. As the water warms up, he prepares himself to make the transfer from toilet seat to shower without getting any poop on anything.
Man, I don’t know what I need to add to my diet to make sure that never happens again, but I need to find out!

My back aches. My neck throbs. My stomach is sore. My legs are numb. My thighes ache- I am getting old. Nothing is young anymore… its all old by default now. Maybe the vegetarian thing is a new path. Today I decided to be a vegetarian or something. Its been over 25 hours since I last ate meat, a tendergrilled chicken salad from burger king- wonder how long it will last, no more meat- no more dead cows, no more dead chickens…
The newspaper thumps on the driveway outside. Its 5am and im still drinking, as usual.
I lean my head back and drain the last beer-
I am a disgusting fat body, about 50 pounds overweight, loving it and hating it…